God is Good (the question part 2)

Well here is the #1 truth that God has shown me while studying the book of Job. There is absolutely NO ONE I love enough that I would give my son for them, yet that is exactly what God did for me. As I have spent the week thinking about this truth it has continually left me amazed, after watching "the passion of the Christ" I wondered to myself what would I have done in Mary's shoes if you were watching roman soldiers brutally beat and kill your son, but honestly what could she have done but watch in horror. But His Father God could have stopped it at anytime with just a word, can you imagine all of heaven watching as sinful man abuses and crucifies the perfect Son of God. I sometimes wonder what the angels thought at that moment in history, did they watch in silent horror, did they ask God to send them to avenge this great injustice? I know we have no idea what the angels were thinking and it's not doctrinally important (hey I admitted I like to question) but as I thought about all of this, one thing is perfectly clear. What great love God has for me that He would pay such a high price to redeem me. I freely admit there is a lot I don't understand and I often ask why. Why wasn't my mom healed when we prayed, why are little children abused, why is a mom coming home from grocery shopping or a dad from the late shift at work killed by a drunk driver, why does a five year old get cancer, and I don't know, but I do know that God loves me, that He gave us the ultimate expression of love in Jesus. So while there are a lot of things I don't understand, and the pain of losing mom is still real I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God loves me, that He is a good God, and I can safely trust in His plan for me. And I am truly amazed at God's immeasurable love for me Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

the question I was asked (part 1)

Man, what a week it has been, I started out so frustrated with the churches we have tried so far and with no idea where we would try next, yet in the middle of the week someone asked me a question that caused me to really get in the Word and what a amazing finish to the week. So here was the question in a nutshell (if God is a good God, Father to the fatherless, Giver of good things then why did He offer Job up to Satan the way He did, and secondly If you lose your children and then are given new children have you been "restored") I admit this is a simple version of the question(by simple I mean short: not easy to answer)yet as I went to read and re-read Job God began to teach me some things. So allow me to share some of my thoughts and what God has been teaching me. please feel free to respond both to the question and what I am about to share (honest I would love to hear your thoughts). Okay as I was reading Job and talking with everyone I could get a hold of these last few days, here are a few things that began to stand out. First I don't understand why God does some of the things He does (OK a lot of the things He does) but that is actually a good thing if I could understand everything God is and does He would be a pretty small God. Secondly I realized Job was way more spiritually mature than I am look at the way he respond after losing nearly everything (he did not lose God or His relationship with God) in Job 1:22 And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly. Wow what a response would I have responded like that had I been asked to endure what he endured? I can tell you that what I have gone through in life was nothing like what Job did and I have not always responded as he did. As I began to pray about this I was reminded of a few things in scripture like the story of three men who would not bow down to a idol there response was Dan 3:16-18 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up. wow again a lesson in maturity whether God saved them or not they would obey God. When I face trials do I respond as these men did saying Blessed be the name of the Lord or no matter what I will follow God, I love Hebrews 11 but here are a few verses that really challenge me verse 16 But now they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly: wherefore God is not ashamed to be called their God: for he hath prepared for them a city. God was not ashamed to be called their God, many times I have read Job looking at Job's faith in God, but look for a moment at God's faith in Job. God knew that he so completely had Job's heart that no matter what the devil did to Job He would remain true to God. It left me challenged by the question am I that committed to God, does He have my heart that completely could I say with Job "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him..." (Job 13:15)? There is so much more that God has taught me since I took this question to Him, and I know I haven't even begun to answer the actual question yet, but in a effort to keep this post from getting too long I'll pick up this up again tomorrow.

a lesson from my daughter

Today I am the best dad in the whole world, my daughter just told me so. All because I told her she could wear the outfit she wants to wear to school. I know my job as a parent is to raise my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, not to just be there "friend", but it sure feels great when they run up to you with a big smile on their face, give you a big hug, and say " daddy you are my best dad in the whole world". Parenting isn't always this easy though, sometimes I have to make decisions that are harder than whether its okay to wear a pink shirt to school, and my daughter doesn't always understand why she can't wear shorts outside in November (even if they are pink) , why she can't take the pizza out of the oven or hit her brother when she thinks he deserves it. I must confess i am a lot like my daughter, there are a lot of things about God I don't understand, and there are times I want to cry out "your the best dad in the whole world", but there are times I want to say something closer to the opposite of that. I know that my daughter won't always understand my reasons for the decisions I make, but I am okay with her asking me why I made them. And I think we do God a great disservice when we discourage questions by telling people to have blind faith or giving out pat Sunday school answers. I am glad I don't understand everything God is, or does, what a small God He would be if my little mind could totally comprehend Him. When I make a decision my daughter doesn't approve of she lets me know how unhappy she is with it sometimes she storms off to her room, and sometimes she crawls up in my lap and says "daddy that makes me mad". I must confess I am not fond of the first response but I am not only okay with the second I love it. What a great time to not only teach, but to shower my love on her to let her know that even though I made a decision she doesn't understand or agree with I LOVE HER. So today I am going to continue to grow in my relationship with God by crawling in His lap, telling Him all the things that make me mad, or sad, I am going to rest in His love and look forward to the lessons He is going to teach me. Because I believe God is not only okay with us coming to Him honestly with all our questions and emotions, I think He is waiting for it. Thank you Lord for my wonderful children, I love them with all my heart, yet I know you love them even more, help me to always show them your love. In Jesus Name

Mommy

Today I was Conceived,
the start of a happy life I believed.
Little by little I began to grow,
it was kind of neat you know.

First my heart began to beat,
then I developed hands and feet.
My body grows in size,
I learn to kick, what a surprise.

I began to move about,
I can't wait to get out.
I know you'll hold me near,
and daddy will probably shed a tear.

"I love you" something I never got to say,
because my life came to an end one day.
I don't understand how this can be,
The mom I love just killed me.

Mommy can I ask you why,
you didn't even try.
Even if things had been rough,
wouldn't love have been enough?

NICK

Needing Prayer

I know some people believe that Christians should always smile and say everything is great, but honestly that is not how life works, at least not mine. I believe what is important is the fact that even when life gets hard or things get rough God is still good, and that no matter what emotion we are feeling whether we are happy, sad, frustrated, even angry we need to take it to God honestly, after all it's not like He doesn't know how we are feeling. And I must confess today I'm feeling frustrated, I am so tired of looking for a good church. I am actually beginning to wonder if one exists in the whole state of Wisconsin. I know some of my friends reading this are thinking "Nick there is no perfect church", and honestly I'm not looking for perfect, but I would like biblical. Now obviously I don't know everything and am probably wrong on some of the things I think are biblical or unbiblical. Yet sometimes I hear preachers take such tremendous liberties with the text it makes me wonder if we are reading the same bible. I'll be the first to admit I have questions, and I don't understand everything in the bible but honestly I am so tired of man made doctrines, and the pathetic hoopla we pawn off as demonstrations of the Holy Spirit. Why can't the bible mean exactly what it says, that if sick people call for the elders the prayer of faith will make them better(God through the prayer of faith; I know. I know)or why doesn't baptism in the Holy Spirit give us boldness to share our faith or power from on high like it did in acts, instead of making us run around like animals or roll on the floor laughing. I want to be a part of a Word and Power church, I want to see God move in power as He did in the days of the New Testament but I also want to believe the Bible for what it says and not for what I want it to say. I'm not looking for something new, I want to find the old paths, the ones Jesus and his apostles walked. I'll gladly trade all our man made programs and fancy preaching for some biblical demonstrations of God's love and Holy Spirit power. I want to gather with a group of believers who want to study Gods word to be workmen unashamed, who want take what GOD teaches us and live by it. I want to be in a church where the Holy Spirit is more than a good feeling in worship, but where He convicts us of sin, teaches us about Jesus, and continues to conform us into the image of Jesus. Yes I want to see miracles, I want to see healing and deliverance's, But most of all I want to see changed lives! I want to be part of a family where we love each other in spite of all are shortcomings, yet also challenge and encourage one another (spur one another on) I want to be a part of a church that is changing its world, because lets be honest Jesus original disciples changed their world so why shouldn't His disciples today? Okay I'll admit it I want to be a part of a church that looks a lot like the book of Acts, and I am not going to just settle and make excuses for being less than that! Where are God's Elijah's, Paul's, Smith Wigglesworth's, Charles Wesley's, Jonathan Edward's, George Whitefield's, Leonard Ravenhill's? God please send us Godly leaders Men after your own heart, God please make me into a man after your own heart, someone whom you are not ashamed to be called my God.

Some quotes that have challenged me

Here are some quotes that have really challenged me lately, and I hope they challenge you also!

"There will be a thousand people who, if you get a heart and a vision, will say, "Oh, you've got tunnel vision." Hmm? Well, I think the one reason why the Apostle Paul conquered... and triumphed... and out-smarted us... and out-suffered us... and out-prayed us... and out-sacrificed us... and out-preached us was because he settled for one thing: "This one thing I do."
You've got to have one vision,
You've got to have one heart,
You've got to have one purpose,

"This one thing I do..." I sell out to God's will totally." Leonard Ravenhill


"One of these days some simple soul will pick up the Book of God, read it, and believe it. Then the rest of us will be embarrassed."
-Leonard Ravenhill


"How shall I feel at the judgment, if multitudes of missed
opportunities pass before me in full review, and all my excuses
prove to be disguises of my cowardice and pride?" - W. E. Sangster


"If I could push the door of heaven and you could peep through it for 5 min. you will never backslide! You'd change your lifestyle, you'd change your conversation style, you'd change your eating style, you'd change everything! Listen, you and I are supposed to be eternity conscious; the world out there is blind and dumb and deaf and it's crazy!"

-Leonard Ravenhill, Choosing rather to suffer

"You know, "our" people will warn you: "Don't get too spiritual." You never hear them say, "Don't get too rich. Don't get too much education." but rather, "Don't get too spiritual..."

Do you know why? Because they've been dragging their feet for the last ten to twenty years, and they're afraid you'll get ahead of them." Leonard Ravenhill


"Though the cross of Christ has been beautified by the poet and the artist, the avid seeker after God is likely to find it the same savage implement of destruction it was in the days of old. The way of the cross is still the pain-wracked path to spiritual power and fruitfulness. So do not seek to hide from it. Do not accept an easy way. Do not allow yourself to be patted to sleep in a comfortable church, void of power and barren of fruit. Do not paint the cross nor deck it with flowers. Take it for what it is, as it is, and you will find it the rugged way to death and life. Let it slay you utterly."
-A.W. Tozer

If sinners be dammed, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies. If they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees. Let no one GO there UNWARNED and UNPRAYED for. - Charles Spurgeon

If we resort to our senses to discover the truth, we shall find Satan's lies are often enough true to our experience ; but if we refuse to accept as binding anything that contradicts God's Word and maintain an attitude of faith in Him alone, we shall find instead that Satan's lies begin to dissolve and that our experience is coming progressively to tally with that Word.
-Watchman Nee, from the Normal Christian Life

"The disputes causing many denominations and the divisions causing many sects are advanced in the name of "bearing testimony for the truth"! The soulish Christian often exaggerates differences, creating a disparity of opinions, resulting in divisions in the church of God. Jude testified of the same thing: "These are those who make divisions, soulish, having no spirit" (v. 19). This word refers to unregenerated people. However, the fact that soulish men cause separations is seen among believers also. The characteristic of a soulish believer is that he is often the instigator of separations and rivalry."
-Watchman Nee

Standing for truth or Jesus?

I have said many a time that "I want to stand for truth" often times while defending one of my denominational "truths". I am saddened as I think of how many times I have engaged in heated (passionate?) arguments with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ over some doctrinal stand I felt was important. I am humbled when I think of how many people I offended by standing strongly (even harshly) over a belief I felt was important(ex. speaking in tongues being the initial physical evidence, or it being wrong to celebrate Christmas) I passionately defended the beliefs I was raised with, beliefs I now think are wrong and unbiblical. And in my arrogance I justified it all with wanting to stand for truth. Now am I suggesting we live a life of compromise, not at all, I'm saying instead of standing for truth, lets stand for Jesus (THE TRUTH John 14:6). Leonard Ravenhill said " Your doctrine can be as straight as a gun barrel and just as empty.", Isn't that what truth without love is, empty? I believe many people are asking the same question Pilate asked "what is truth?" but the answer they are looking for is not some dusty theological or doctrinal argument they need to see Jesus. Jesus said people would know I was His not because I stood for truth, but because of my love. So while I still believe that loving Jesus means keeping his commandments, and I want to be a workman not ashamed, correctly dividing the word of truth. I want to speak that truth in love so we may all grow to be more Christlike, and not merely to win doctrinal arguments. These past few weeks this is the verse that God has continually been bringing me back to "Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets." (Matthew 22:36-40). This is how I want to live, may everything I do and say be motivated first by absolute and total love for God, and secondly by true love for neighbor. I wonder, if our conversations were filtered through this verse and not our religious colored glasses if we could avoid many of our arguments and divisions? My hearts continued cry is, may I be like Jesus, full of grace and truth, may I love as He loved, and live as He lived. Father through your Holy Spirit please help me to stand for Jesus, teach me thy ways that I may walk in thy truths, God please fill me to overflowing with your amazing love so that in all I do, everywhere I go, your love shines through me! In Jesus Name, Amen

God's peace

today I woke up with Gods peace in my heart in the midst of all the storms of life, and the upheavel of this work God is doing in my heart, it was great to wake up to the overwhelming peace of God. And as I spent some time in the Word this morning this verse stood out to me "Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious."(1 Peter 2:1-3). This is what I am seeking God for, the sincere milk of the word that I may grow. I don't want to be sidetracked by man made doctrines, and laws I want to as 2 Peter 3:18 says "But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen." May I ever be more and more like my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth." full of grace and truth.

religious colored glasses (continued)

God is continuing to deal with me on my religious colored glasses, they affect not only the views I hold about various doctrines, they affect how I read my bible, and how I look at people. What I mean is, if you have been raised that all drinking (of alcohol) is wrong, or that Christians shouldn't read harry potter then when you see a brother or sister doing that it is really easy to say " I can't believe they are doing that" or something even more judgmental. Maybe I am the only one guilty of this but here is a example, you see some one from your church at a wedding and notice they are drinking, right away you think "what about avoiding the appearance of evil". (or any other one of the verses those who believe all drinking is wrong use) why does the verse where, Jesus turned water into wine (at a wedding) never pop into our heads at that moment? I find even when I am reading my bible these glasses get in the way, I'll read a verse that seems to defend my view point and respond in my heart " see I'm right". I know that's horrible and maybe I'm the only one guilty of being so judgmental, and opinionated but I just can't help wondering if these glasses aren't part of the reason we need so many "labels" as Christians. There are, Baptists and Pentecostals, Lutherans and Methodists, Conservatives and Charismatics, Calvinists and Arminian, liberals and legalistic, and the list goes on and on. I don't want to be known by any of these "labels" I want to be known as a disciple of Jesus Christ, someone who is radically and totally in love with Jesus. When someone thinks of me I want the first thing that comes to their mind not to be, "oh Nick is Charismatic or Arminian" but to be, I think, " Nick looks a lot like Jesus". So today I am going to go humbly to the throne of grace, repent of my tremendous arrogance, and present my body a living sacrifice, asking the potter to make me into a vessel that truly represents His Son. And with the Holy Spirit's help I am going to remain on the cross allowing the Refiners fire to do it's work in me dying totally to my flesh so I may live for Jesus.

Whats God Showing You?

The Packers play the Vikings this weekend, and it is easy to call friends and ask them what they are doing for the game. But when was the last time we called someone just to ask them what God has been showing them lately? I have a friend who is a viking fan (not a bad idea it gets lots of people to pray for him) and after the game it is easy for one of us to call the other if our team won and give the other a hard time. But when was the last time we called someone because God had showed us something in the Word? Scripture says "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of a friend." (Proverbs 27:17). and, "What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops." (Matthew 10:27) or even "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching." (Hebrews 10:23-25 NIV). sharpen one another, spur one another on, speak, just think if we as brothers and sisters in Christ out of love for Jesus and each other would take this serious. What if instead of spending so much time talking about things that won't matter tomorrow we spent our time talking about things that have eternal significance? [Imagine the Good News being good enough to actually share with people] I say all this for several reasons first to encourage everyone who reads this post, to step out and share with someone what God has been showing you. Secondly to let all my friends whose numbers are in my cell phone know to expect some phone calls, because as I continue to ask God about these questions I'm going to be calling you with what God is showing me, and hoping you will be doing the same. Lets "spur" one another on as we continue to gather in Christ's name and His Love, as His immenient return grows closer!

In Christ Alone

Today in my quiet time God used a song to really minister to my heart, the song, "In Christ Alone (I Stand)" In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my solid ground firm through the fiercest drought and storm (and questions), and from life's first cry to final breath Jesus commands my destiny. This is the truth I know, Jesus is exactly who He said he was, He is the Son of God born of a virgin, though He existed from before time, He lived as one of us for thirty-three years, then He died on Calvary's cruel cross in my place, and all who would accept His free gift, then three days later He rose, He now sits at the fathers right hand to make intercession for His own. I may have a million questions but this I know, Jesus Loves Me for the Bible tells me so. The questions I posted yesterday haven't gone away and I still long to know God's answer to them, I want to be a workman not ashamed who correctly divides the Word of Truth, I want to love Jesus His way, If you love me keep my words, So I'll keep striving to obey. My prayer will remain, God please reveal yourself to me, Holy Spirit teach me of Jesus. As God continues to challenge and peel away layers of religion in my life it is leaving me with a greater hunger to know Christ, so I'll stand on God's promise. (Jeremiah 33:3) "Call onto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not." I will say with David "Open thou mine eyes,that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law." (Psalm 119:18)

Needing God's Wisdom

I must confess I'm still reeling from all that God is doing in me, it is a little overwhelming as a control freak, to be shown how little control you actually have. I am a black and white person, honestly I don't really like gray, I like it when things are either right or wrong. And I spent the majority of my life being raised in a Church that taught things as very black and white, but now I'm not so sure. It' a hard thing (at least for me) when things you've believed for 20 years began to fall into question. For example, I was raised believing it was wrong for a christian to celebrate Christmas something I now disagree with, but what about all these other truths or so-called truths, Christians should not have anything to do with Halloween, should not play D&D, or WoW, or any other RPG, Christians should not read or watch harry potter, Christians should not drink alcohol, Christians should not dance, Christians should not date ( though courtship often looks like dating, in my opinion), Christians should not vote, etc. these were all beliefs I was raised with, and in fairness I can find valid possibly even biblical arguments for some of these beliefs. As a adult I have gone to numerous churches that hold the opposite opinions again with some valid, convincing, and possibly biblical arguments. Now I know some of you are saying these are minor doctrines that don't matter, But what about these beliefs, unless you speak in tongues your not baptized in the Holy Spirit, Divine healing is promised in scripture, you can lose (reject, throw away, etc) your salvation, woman should not be in church ministry, the church today should look like the one in Acts, etc. Are these also just trivial doctrines? and these are just the over-arching doctrines, break them down for a second, woman in ministry, can they be worship leaders but not pastors, pastors but not senior pastors, can they teach Sunday school but not to men, and if so at which age do boys become men? Or take Divine Healing, does God always promise to heal, only sometimes, through the hands of doctors, not at all anymore? All of these are views people hold many of them with a bible verse for why they believe that particular view? These are just a few of the hundreds of questions running through my head, and here is why they are important to me, I want to be like Jesus. If Jesus wouldn't celebrate Halloween I don't want to, if Jesus would vote then I want to do that, I want to represent Jesus to the absolute best of my ability. (actually His ability because it is only through the Holy Spirit I can represent Him at all) WWJD a catch phrase of a few years ago, at one time a popular question, but I actually want to live my life that way not just in the so-called big important issues but in every single area of my life. Because I am convinced that God's way is always the best way. Now here is the kicker that made everything blow up for me, I have believed that if a person was truly living for Jesus as the bible told him or her too, they would look like Jesus with miracles following them (the supernatural, Divine evidence of God being with them) see John 14:12, Mark 16:17-18. But then I read a book by Ravenhill (someone I hold great respect for) and he made a point from Matthew 11:7-11 "....Among them that are born of woman there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist:..." and I don't know of any recorded miracles in Johns ministry, or life. Okay maybe not a earth shattering revelation to the rest of you, but it rocked my world. So as I thought about all of this I thought about all the non-believers I know and if any of them would say I was like Jesus, really and truly like Jesus (when they see how I live, talk, etc do they think " I bet that's what Jesus would have been like when He was on earth") because that's what I want. I want everyone who See's me to see not Nick, but Jesus I want my life to point others to Jesus. Galatians 2:20 "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Now that is the testimony I want! Over the next I don't know how long, I will be exploring some of these views in my blog, with the goal of learning What Jesus would do, I want to know, really and truly know Jesus so that I may by His grace truly be His disciple.

Pray

just wanted to encourage everyone to pray today for the future leader of our country.

Election Thoughts

I have some questions about the upcoming election, actually they are about some comments I keep hearing, first, "it is the Christian's duty, or responsibility to vote" and I must confess I have not found any scriptural support for this claim. I think it is more truthful to say it is the American responsibility, or privilege to vote. Now I am not saying Christians should not vote I am only saying that I don't know if we can list it as one of the Christian's responsibilities. Whats my point, simply this, that while I am not sure biblically if you can say it is the Christian's responsibility to vote, I am confident you can say it is the Christian's responsibility to pray for this election and to continue to pray for whoever is elected. ( 1 Timothy 2:1-2). secondly, In response to this I have had numerous people say to me that "if you don't vote you don't have the right to complain", however as a christian I don't think we have the right to complain whether we voted or not. (Philippians 2:14) Please hear what I am saying, I'm not saying, don't vote I am saying to PRAY, if you are going to vote ask God who He wants you to vote for, and no matter what the outcome continue to pray for our leaders. This is the duty of every follower of Jesus Christ. Pray for wisdom for our leaders , pray for the spiritual destiny of our leaders, pray as Jesus prayed "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.". In my admittedly limited twenty-nine years I don't think I have ever seen our country as divided as it is now, unfortunately even the church is dividing over some of these political issues, so I want to encourage and challenge all my brothers and sisters in Christ to join me in taking seriously 2 Chronicles 7:14 "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." our country desperately needs God to heal our land, and I believe this will happen when we PRAY.